Week 2 Story: The Enchanted Roses

Here is the link to my new version in my portfolio

Once upon a time there was a young maiden girl named Savvy. She lived in the valley of Swallows Bend right past the big, white church. Her home was a little grey house on the edge of town with her mother and her younger brother Joshua. It wasn't much, but it was home. Each day Savvy would walk her brother to school and then go do chores for her mother. She had just turned twenty and began to catch the eyes of the single men in town. She was beautiful; golden hair as long as her back, blue eyes as clear as the river that ran through town, and the biggest smile you have ever seen. 

Savvy's mother needed to go out of town to care for their sick grandmother. Savvy was not aware of the true meaning of her mother's trip however because she was told it was to settle some business. Her mother told her and Joshua to pick 1 thing that they wanted her to bring back for them. Joshua chose a new hunting knife and Savvy chose a bouquet of roses. Her mother kissed them goodbye and left the town. 

On the way back, Savvy's mother got lost during a storm. The wind howled and it rained for what seemed like days. She stumbled upon this run-down castle that she had no idea existed. She quickly ran inside to get out of the storm, and what she found surprised her. Dozens of the most beautiful roses she had ever seen littered the hallways of the castle. Even though the castle looked old on the outside, it glittered like diamonds on the inside. Savvy's mother knew that the roses would please her daughter, so when the rain let up she took a vase and left. 

Savvy was thrilled with the roses her mother took, but one night a mangled up beast came into her bedroom and demanded that she come with him for the price of the roses. Savvy screamed and tried to fight the beast, but it only made things worse. "Come with me or your mother shall be killed" exclaimed the beast. So Savvy went. 

No one heard from Savvy for months, but her roses remained alive and just as beautiful as they had when her mother took them. Even though she had not heard from Savvy, her mother knew that as long as the roses were alive, so was Savvy. 

Image from Pixy.org. Image directly downloaded from this link.

Author's Note:  This story stemmed from the Beauty and the Basilisk with new characters and a slightly different plot line. The story is still about a girl and a beast of some kind and starts the conflict of the story over some roses. I hope you enjoy my spin of this tale! 

Bibliography: "Beauty and the Basilisk" by Josef Baudis (1922). Beauty and the Basilisk

Comments

  1. Hi Syd! I enjoyed reading this story because of how different it is from the original. I especially liked the description of thee castle, with roses scattered in the halls instead of growing outside and a glittering inside but decaying outside. I also like how the reader isn't sure what exactly happened to Savvy or who the beast is. I'm you kept Savvy's character traits the same, even though they aren't contrasted to sisters' anymore.

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  2. Hi Syd,
    I like your retelling of the story. Although I am not familiar with the story, it does remind me of Beauty and the Beast. I like the part where you describe the girl Savvy with descriptive words like golden hair, blue eyes like the river, and biggest smile. I also like the way you described the roses and your description of the castle as run-down on the outside and glittery like diamond on the inside. I do have a few questions though, like why is the beast mangled and what does it look like? Maybe the beast was mangled because it survived for years defending the castle. Why didn't Joshua helped Savvy fight the beast? A few suggestions would be that you could expand on the beast's physical appearance and perhaps expand on Joshua's story also. Further explaining the original story in author's note can help people who are unfamiliar with the story understand it better. Overall, I love your story and the ending makes it bleak but we all know how it ends if it continues (refer to beauty and the beast).

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